Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
