why didn't you poke me back
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
