Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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