Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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