If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I could make wine with my vomit
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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