Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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