what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
