so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So. Much. Porn.
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