My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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