I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
