You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
