I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
