Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
