and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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