8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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