it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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