matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
