just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
did i walk over a car last night?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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