Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
