i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
