we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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