when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
