how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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