i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
