Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
