Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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