Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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