just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
