Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
is wine microwaveable?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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