she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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