my mouth tastes like poor choices
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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