i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Acid is not a monday night drug
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize