Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
please don't ironically join a cult
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