I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize