is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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