dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
