READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
