rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
