So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Mom said you looked used
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
