I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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