are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
