I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
