Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
