Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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