you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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