just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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