It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
