her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
