I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
