How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
