my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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