Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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