There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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