Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
