They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
