Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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