the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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