maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
