he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize