Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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