We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
