Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
